On your darkest days, I want to hold a flashlight
so close to your skin that it lights up
all your internal organs like a Halloween pumpkin.
I think that if all your scars were lovers,
I wouldn’t be ashamed of holding hands
with a single one.
( let me enter your hours )
I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know that there’s nothing but light when I see you.
They held hands like broken glass.
On your darkest days, I want to hold a flashlight
so close to your skin that it lights up
all your internal organs like a Halloween pumpkin.
I think that if all your scars were lovers,
I wouldn’t be ashamed of holding hands
with a single one.
At 7:35 A.M, you lay your tired body on mine
before peeling off, like a slow band-aid.At 8:40 you sprint home and make instant coffee.
At 9:45 we finally drink it, cold.
I finish your leftover half.By 10:50 you are already breathless.
I live for every time we overlap.When 11:55 comes I spend the entire minute convincing you to stay.
You never do.By noon I put my hands on your shoulders and say, “Baby,
you’re getting thin. All this running in circles and barely sitting down to eat.”At 1:05 you tell me that while you were gone,
15,300 babies were born.At 2:10 you don’t say a word,
just come in and kiss me for sixty seconds straight.At 3:15 we sit quiet, listening to rain falling everywhere
in the world at once: all 15,000 tons.At 4:20 we pull a little from the tight joint I keep behind your ear.
You do not inhale.At 5:25 you meet me for happy hour.
My neck already salted, a lime wedged in my teeth,
a shot of tequila sitting on the bar.At 6:30 I hear the ticking.
I count your heartbeat like seconds between thunderclaps.By 7:35 I can see you in the distance,
each second a tease until you drape over me.
We always love quick and you never let me hold you.
I dream of drinking you through a straw.At 8:40 you watch my beard grow 0.00027 of an inch.
At 9:45 we do not speak.
Too many people have died since we last met.At 10:50 we pray for a meteor,
at least a clumsy kid to spill sugar in our gears.11:55 is my favorite.
We’re only apart for mere minutes.But at midnight you’ll apologize sixty times
because it will always be like this.At 1:04 AM I am already sleeping.
It’s exhausting loving someone
who is constantly running away.
Making love was never about you and me in a bed. We made love whenever we held hands.
I watched a girl in a sundress kiss another girl on a park bench, and just as the sunlight spilled perfectly onto both of their hair, I thought to myself: “How bravely beautiful it is, that sometimes, the sea wants the city, even when it has been told its entire life it was meant for the shore.
You’re so calm and quiet, you never say. But there are things inside you. I see them sometimes, hiding in your eyes.
“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”
— Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper
(via books-n-quotes)
